Majestik
Newb
Age : 35
Registration date : 2008-08-05
Number of posts : 4
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Reputation :
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 Subject: Another...practice  Sun Aug 10, 2008 11:11 pm |
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Believe it or not, these niggas spittin Riddles n’ Tricks, treat you and ya bitch like ‘dogs’
and call you ‘Kibblez n’ Bitz’, workin for change on the corners so ya won’t be Nibble-n-shit
I’m a collegiate that spits the free-est of Many-a-Few, I got Plenty-ta-Chew of ‘Looney’
niggas turnin out bloody shirt and ‘bottomless’ like ‘Whinny-the-Pooh’
Ya ‘quarters’ are endin like players ‘Foulin-Out’, you better off ‘rehearsin freestyles’ on ‘Wildn-Out’
cause you ‘phoney’…the only time you ‘pressed’ a ‘9’ was to ‘Dial-Out’
I’ll lay you ‘face down’ like ‘Tables-in-Vegas’, don’t step if you ain’t Able-to-face-this
cause you’ll get ‘cut off’ like ‘Cable with due payments’
I'm cute but go hard so I don’t care if ya like-me, ya punches ain’t in ‘shape-to-fight-me’
Get a work out and ‘gain weight’ cause I’m not to be ‘taken-lightly’
....feedback please....
I find flow structure hard to do but.....hopefully this is a little better than the last one |
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Freestylizt
Moderator
Age : 32
Registration date : 2008-07-22
Number of posts : 230
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Reputation : .Freestylizt.
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| Subject: Re: Another...practice Mon Aug 11, 2008 12:32 am |
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Yur Structure Can Still Use Some More Work.
And Add Line Breaks To Yur Verses, Turn Up Yuh Speaker.. Yuh Hear-Me?
Break It Off Like This So The Viewers Can Actually See it Clearly.
Somethin' Like That..
I Think U Got Talent Though, You're Coming Up With Some Nice Punches, But The Set-up N Wording Iz Killin YUh..!!
Jus Work On Yur Set-Up N Wording.. N Yur Good To Go..!!
But Yur Def. Improvin..!!
.Freestylizt. |
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NecroGawd
Newb
Age :
Registration date : 2008-08-14
Number of posts : 8
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Reputation :
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| Subject: Re: Another...practice Thu Aug 14, 2008 6:47 pm |
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| Eh This Was Alright....Weak Punches...And I Saw This On BC.. |
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Akademik
Moderator
Age : 33
Registration date : 2008-06-22
Number of posts : 405
. : Deadly Four'S : .
Reputation : Hip-Hop's Savior
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| Subject: Re: Another...practice Fri Aug 15, 2008 10:43 pm |
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| Yea Up Your Structure ALittle And You'll Be Cool. Nice Piece |
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| Subject: Re: Another...practice |
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