Majestik
Newb
Age : 35
Registration date : 2008-08-05
Number of posts : 4
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Reputation :
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 Subject: Something simple  Wed Aug 06, 2008 9:25 pm |
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I’m known for slappin-tricks, never scared cause these hoes ‘pose’
no threat even when they ‘snappin-pics’
Act up….just like ‘kids’ you’ll be ‘nappin-quick’, you must have already
gotten ya ‘shots’, cause you ain’t rappin-‘sick’
Yes a New B to ya but you can call me the Head of the State-Boss
cause I’m ‘breakin down’ frees like ‘diet plans’ for ‘Weight-Loss’
You got a ‘dirty mouth’, my lines will make you hate-‘floss’
from the look of it I gotta knock ya teeth out to ‘pay’ for the ‘rate-costs’
Me nigga Me! I’m So Hood in South Central I’m dealin-a-brick
matter of fact killin-this-prick
I see you feelin-this-chick, I got nigga tendencies the way I take ya
‘soul(sole)’ like I was ‘stealin-ya-kicks’
My niggas poppin bottles so you know we stay drink-n-that
we got bullets that ‘can’t swim’, so they ‘sink’-in-backs
Again…Drink-to-that!, As for your remains we’ll place ya
‘brain’ in a ‘fitted’ and rock it as a ‘think-n-cap’
.....i've been told my punches are played out all the time and that I need to be more creative which I'm trying. I been doing this for like a year and some months, so any other things I need to work on...just drop some replies and I'll take it into consideration. |
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ThePope
Newb
Age :
Registration date : 2008-07-26
Number of posts : 40
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Reputation : a lyrical larcenist
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| Subject: Re: Something simple Wed Aug 06, 2008 9:36 pm |
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| use less filler words makes a shorter sentance meanm more |
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Freestylizt
Moderator
Age : 32
Registration date : 2008-07-22
Number of posts : 230
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Reputation : .Freestylizt.
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| Subject: Re: Something simple Wed Aug 06, 2008 9:38 pm |
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Hmm..
Well, I Do Have To Say, Yuh Punches Are Kinda PLayed Maj.
The 'Pose' And 'Pics', 'Shots' And 'Sick', The 'Sole/Soul' Wordplay Haz Been Used Before..
You Def. Got The Potential And Skill No Doubt..!!
Your Multies Are On Point, No Filler.
Punches Could Have A Bit More Creativity.
Try To Stur Punches Up.. Yuh Knoo?
But Not To Bad Overall.. Keep @ It. |
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| Subject: Re: Something simple |
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